BUMPY "BUMP N GRINDHOUSE"

Public Assembly "New Monday Night Burlesque"

By Roger B.

Monday, July 13th, 2009 - Williamsburg, Brooklyn is one of those wonderful, artsy areas that even on a Monday night seems to buzz with excitement.

While restaurantsall over the boroughs close it up on Mondaysdue tothis tough economy,Williamsburg’s trendy little nooks are jumping with crowds, cool looking twenty-somethings with colorful tattoos wandering the streets and a nightlife that is reminiscent of old Greenwich Village circa 1960’s...not that I was ever there, but you get the picture.

I love the place, I love that it’s not Manhattan and I love the idea that some very cool (and hot) burlesque might be happening at the Public Assembly’s “New” Monday Night Burlesque...literally a 15 minute car ride from my home.

Monday night and I am there!

But what instead happens is something quite unexpected: I am not really impressed.

Now I am not trying to be a stickler here, but my impression is that a show should still be a show and some effort (some!) should be made to add decorum to the whole presentation. But that’s exactly what was lacking here.

The theme tonight at Public Assembly is a shock fest ala hallows eve called “Bump-n-Grindhouse,” a tongue in cheek, blood and gore ode to old horror flicks that is somehow supposed to weave the evening’s performance into a seamless, themed event. But that didn’t exactly happen. Also, why the horror theme? I didn’t get it.

The problem starts with the venue, which is cool, hip, has ample space and nice lighting. From outside, you can see to the back of the room where the show is taking place and I have to admit, overall it has a great feel. The $10 adjmission price is fair, the drinks are affordable, but something else is lurking in the dark and it has nothing to do with the show's horror theme. What sucks is a stage that just looks like hell; the curtains are ratty and torn and when the host, The Lady Aye, at one point wraps herself with it, I cringed at the thought of possible bedbugs. It’s scary, but for all the wrong reasons. Will someone at this joint please splurge on drapes so that we don’t have to see every damn act setting up through the rips and holes? Please? Do these ladies - and the paying audience -a favor!

Next on my gripe list is not so much the performances (which I will get to momentarily), but the way the lineup is presented. Lady Aye seemed uncomfortable the entire night trying to move this show along only to draw attention to the slow pace between acts, the long setup time and these forever-extended, godforsaken prerecorded Vincent-Price-like intros that seemed longer than the act itself.

At some point I just gave up.

I think it happened when the order of pre-recorded intros somehow got mixed up. Or maybe it was the almost 40-minute intermission after just four or five quick acts that included a twenty minute strip tease by stage kitten Nurse Lefty Lucy, an otherwise sexy little nymph who clearly was trying to help move this thing along. I literally went outside, made a few phone calls, visually checked in regularly through the front window and when not much came off and she disappeared behind the ratty curtain, I knew act two was about to begin.

Now I am not always this picky as I’ve said and I am willing to cut some slack. The fun thing about burlesque can often be the unexpected and random moments that draw the audiences into the experience, like when Harvey Korman would crack up on the Carol Burnett show. (We get it, it’s just a show and he’s laughing. And so we laugh with him...happy that he is human just like us and has included us ina joke gone wrong.) Lady Aye tried doing that a few times, but I feel she gave up.

Maybe the show’s producers, Lady Aye and Wierdee Girl, had some last minute changes that they couldn’t patch up quickly enough... a change in the lineup, a glitch with the technical aspect of the show. Who knows? I don’t want to be harsh, but I do want to have good fun when I go to these shows. Beer in hand, a nice buzz, I am ready to have fun. But all of that waiting just killed the mood...and much of the buzz.

As for the evening’s sexy performers, Weirdee Girl, Creamy Stevens, Minnie Tonka & Miss Kissy Wishes, my feeling is that they did what they were hired to do and did it just fine. They were all unique, mostly fun to watch and looked great. Some acts were really clever. There simply was just not enough there to save the long gaps between performances.

Now I won’t give up on the New Monday Night Burlesque and I hope to be back there soon and report on the new acts, if for no other reason than to prove that this was just an off night. After all, it was a Monday.

Public Assembly has a different Monday Night Burlesque show every Monday evening starting at 10PM. The address is 70 North 6^th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY.

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